I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I love having hate sex.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
