She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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