I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
