I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
