Your mouth is God's brothel.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
