dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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