I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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