I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
