I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
