Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We need to get me chipped asap
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
