M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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