So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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