Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.