My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.