Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
