We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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