By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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