we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
