you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
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Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here