hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.