i just had sex bonerless
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins