Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize