my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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