I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
