are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
