I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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