At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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