Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
