So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
