Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
