Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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