By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
