i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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