I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
