She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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