I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
