Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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