I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
