Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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