he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
BRING THE BAGELS
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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