i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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