Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
