Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
