I need help removing her.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
