Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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