Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
