I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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