You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Found your dick twin last night
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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