Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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