My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
