Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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