I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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