He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
