just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize