btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
