scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
