My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
