If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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