Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
