i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
