I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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