Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
time to smoke my breakfast
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
